For the past two months I have been in somewhat of an artistic funk. The stresses of my life and the issues that I have been working to overcome have put a huge toll on every aspect of my life. One of the things that has always defined me, was my love of the camera. For the longest time, I could not bring myself to categorize myself as an “artist.” But recently, in the past couple of years, I have come to grips with the fact that art is purely subjective and it does not matter what the medium is, as long as you are creating something that is your own, and was not there before. And sadly, even one of the things that defines me, had been affected by the stresses of the change that I needed to face. To put it simple, I have not been able to pick up my camera for several months except to move it off of the dining room table.
I am not sure if I was angry at my camera, myself or simply scared of the fact that I had not “achieved the greatness” that my pride had expected. All I know, is that I just wasn’t inspired by anything. That is an extremely lonely thing to feel, especially when I believe I used to be inspired by just about everything around me. There was always a challenge to make something beautiful out of any subject and I always loved the challenge. And then, there was nothing.
I might go to my grave saying that going back to work at Good Life Cafe might have been one of the best decisions I have ever made. The reason I say that is because it has started opening doors again for me. I guess it started when Sharon wanted a picture of the lunch special for social media. I couldn’t just take a photo of the food. Nope. I had to find the right light, and make sure the background looked nice and creamy. It wasn’t long before I was adding a chilled beer and place settings to make it even better looking. Soon, I was walking the random Soda City Market looking for happy little accidents. BTW, that is what I call my best pictures. Think about how fast a moment happens. It is only by luck that we are in the right place, at the right time with the right settings. That goes for everything except portraits. 😉 In any case, it was that little push that made realize I what I needed to be doing.
This photo that is attached is of the past market. I love this photo of this little girl reaching out to touch a bubble that someone in the street was making. It is almost a metaphor for life. If there is something big that you are after, you have to take that chance and reach out for it quickly because it can be gone in an instant. She didn’t reach this one in time, but it didn’t stop her from continuing to try for the next ones. I am feeling that this very moment. I didn’t achieve the thing I was looking for, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t coming. Right now, I am so excited about picking up my camera tonight and getting something else caught on “film.”
If I may impart something that I have learned, it is these three things. Never give up. Keep reaching for your goals and most of all, learn to love yourself.