I see her standing there, alone. Determined for control. I want to dance with her so bad it hurts. I know you think you understand, but you don’t. You couldn’t possibly know because my words can’t quantify it. It’s as if every fiber of my flesh is reaching out to her and I don’t know why. And all I want is to dance next to her.
Is it raw pheromones, can it be boiled down to simply a primal feeling? That’s too easy, because there is more than that. It’s not how she walks, it’s her tone. The sound of her voice moves me like a marionette, completely trusting the one pulling my strings. But I can’t dance with her. Her heart isn’t open to the music I’m feeling. Maybe she is, it’s hard to say. She’s determined to control.
My song has a time signature most don’t feel. It can be so fast at times, many are left speechless. But sometimes, when the anxiety has subsided, my song is just right. It can touch people in ways no one else will ever understand because it’s written just for her. I want her to hear that song with me.
Sometimes as I drift, I see her there. She's on the dance floor, but I don’t think that song she's been hearing for so long is what makes her move anymore. It’s hard to let familiarity go.
I think what she doesn’t understand is that this dance has moves neither of us have ever seen before. Moves based on expression that only we can feel, only we can make.
This dance is not based off of old partners. It can’t be. This dance also can’t be based off of fear either. That would send all things out of step. This dance is one built on trusting us as partners in a common roll. To create something no one has ever seen on a dance floor.
Choked up beyond belief, I am experiencing the scariest moment of my life. I’m standing here trying to keep the concussive booming of my heart silent from her, because I know how intimidating it can be.
All she has to do is take my hand.
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