Dicks are funny 
Don't you think dicks are funny looking. I'm sorry, for the adults in the crowd, I'm talking about the penis. Even the name penis is funny to say. Look at my penis. Do you like my penis? It's even funny when you try to talk dirty about it. My penis is sooooo hard!! Uhhhhh! Hey baby, do you want this penis in you? And I think that's why, we as men, needed new words to describe our manhood. Things like dick, cock and heat seeking moisture missile. What?! You don't use that one? We needed something to say that was manly, because being naked is not a good look for man. Women!! Beautiful!! Shapely!! Perfect!! Men, not so much. We have this group of organs that just seem to hang there sagging outside of our bodies until we get "aroused" at the worst of times. 9th grade algebra class, 10th grade geometry class, etc. etc.  And then, this ridiculous appendage of ours decides to grow in the opposite direction of the rest of our bodies. It makes anything other than what it was designed for the most difficult task ever. And what is worse, is size starts to matter. Theoretically, if you have a big dick, which at this point is called a cock, you can "please"  the ladies. If you have a small penis, then you will be good at sports where you have more freedom to jump. Luckily for me, I was somewhat  in between. Example. Have you ever heard of Dikembe Mutumbo? He was a pro basketball player that legendarily had a dick so big that he had to use two Jock straps to keep it tucked between his legs. As big as he was it was  difficult for him to jump. It didn't matter much because he was 7 ft tall and could just reach up for the goal, but that doesn't matter. My point is, think about the chafing that he must have had to live through? And not only that, would you  really want the tip of your own dick touching your own asshole?! 

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